Being Positive to turning Negative
Jan 30, 2020 — First case of COVID-19 happens in Thrissur, Kerala, India. Me, being on the fast lane, flying across cities and countries a greater number of days than staying home with family and enjoying the comfort of home food and family time. “Wuhan Corona Virus! Oh, it’s China!!! It’s not going to be affecting me and my lifestyle” — I used to think. Though I was always missing my family time and daily routine of my walks and relaxed family life, travelling was not something I was prepared to give up. I love meeting people, conducting meetings, sharing my ideas and vision, learning from other’s experiences, spending some real good quality times with my state master franchisees. After all, when you travel for nearly 200 days a year, living out of a travel bag and in hotel rooms becomes a normal thing, and I was truly enjoying this normal. So much so that in the month of February I got to travel to 3 countries in a span of 21 days.
Things started getting heated up and the seriousness started creeping in. PM Modi declared Janta Curfew which was more fun with the claps and thali beating and all. Showed the power of a nation behind one man. Then it set in. Lockdowns…cases…daily numbers…one country overtaking another in terms of numbers and deaths…that converted to fear! Fear like I had never experienced. Too much of uncertainty and mixed news and gossips. Not sure what to believe and what not to. Had so many sleepless nights — a small change in health like a small cough, or heavy breathing due to over eating, etc. straightaway brought in the thoughts of COVID. Businesses had shut down…infrastructure was locked down. (Now) False hopes that things will be soon fine, businesses would soon be allowed to open, kept us going day in and out.
Seven months passed by. People got bored of these lockdowns and started becoming more casual and started mingling with their friends and families, or they (thought) they now knew how to survive along with this stubborn and deadly virus. People had older parents to assist. They had to restart their businesses — after all how long can you survive on your savings? I am from the education field which (understandably) government has decided to just ignore and keep it on a permanent back burner with no immediate future in sight. We needed to get out there…needed to meet people, sign up parents and franchisees, and sustain businesses. After all a business is not only about the owners — it’s about the staff, the vendors, the associates — so many people associated with your business. As a son of ailing parents and also as a businessman who saw opportunities in these times, I also started moving out taking full precautions and trying to maintain social distancing in a country where having infrastructure is in itself an issue and then to expect to be able to properly maintain SD is another point of debate. But then we need to do what we have to.
Numbers across the nation were on the rise. Plain numbers started converting into some known people contacting this disease. Slowly some known people became direct known person catching this deadly virus or even succumbing to it. It was scary. Over 100,000 cases every day! But enough of being home and doing Zoom meets and WhatsApp calls.
Oct 24th, 2020–9 months since the lockdowns were announced, I tested positive. Was constantly telling all that all of us are going to get one day and that we need to learn to live with this virus. Never expecting that I would be get infected as well. It all started with…well don’t knew where is all started with! Playing Tennis with some friends. Visited a government office couple of times. Visited hospitals and clinics couple of times. Short domestic flight travel once. No idea who infected me and when. Body started giving some symptoms…first body ache…then mild fever…then fever increase…then sleepless nights. Body was clear enough to let me know that buddy, get tested! And off I went to do the RT-PCR and after the agonizing wait of nearly 12 hours, finally got the result: COVID-19 Positive.
Cannot describe the fear and anxieties that went through me for the next few days. 25th October 2020 being a Sunday and also Dussehra, it was difficult to get any doctor. Tried and even paid for online consultancy on an App which was recommended by a Dr but the Dr never came online and never got back to me (till date). Confusion crept in, fever decided not to leave my side, body ache and weakness also decided to stay with me during my isolation. Luckily thank God we have a nice comfortable 2-story house with a beautiful terrace etc. so isolating myself wasn’t so difficult and boring. Finally met the Dr on 26th and first thing I was told was to get admitted as I had fever. But then I decided not to as all my vitals like oxygen level, sense of taste and smell were all in place. And we have heard so many rumors that Dr’s always try to get you admitted. I decided to chance it out and wait for the next test which was scheduled on the 30th of Oct. Surprising fact was the Dr who so eagerly told me to get admitted, was very fine when I told him that I did not want to get admitted. He too asked me to wait till 30th.
Well my fever decided not to leave my side. Inspite of all the best home remedies offered by my dear wife, everything was fine but not fever. Fever was constant. And guys, do you know the scariest thing about COVID-19? Nothing seems to be working and even the doctors are clueless. It’s almost like — a permanent wait-n-watch. Everyday my kind friends will ask me “So, how are you feeling today?” and my answer is like…well, the same. Unlike other ailments and health issues you take some medication and it’s like “Yea, I am feeling better!” …but in case of COVID-19, it different. Nothing, absolutely nothing, changes day in and out. There’s no medication to “improve” your situation. This is the precise moment when you feel that the only thing that can help you is prayers. The only person who can ever help you, in this case no it’s not the Dr., is God. Dr. will only help you steer past complications…your family and dietician will only help you boost your immunity system. But what happens inside you because of Corona, nobody knows! Every day you feel the same, everyday it’s a mind over body debate. Stay positive…stay strong…believe in yourself…believe in the prayers. Hoping that the body that you have been abusing so much will support you in the times when you need it the most!
Some of the immunity boosters that my wife, Rachana, made sure I received daily — lemon turmeric hot water in the early mornings, adraki chai with lots of ginger, milk shake a bit later with chia seeds, oats, some fruits, etc., and then the typical Indian kadha. Taking in steam was my constant activities 5 times a day, and so were tests like oxygen levels, fever levels, etc. Tried all these for 6 days but nope…nothing. Immunity would have surely boosted as I did not get into any further health complications like breathing issues or sense of smell and taste getting affected, etc. That was the positive side, but fever decided not to leave me alone, howsoever I despised it! Finally, it was time to get hospitalized and seek active support and observation of the Drs’ and Nurses — the true COVID warriors! On the 31st of October, on the scary Halloween Day, I got myself admitted L
Oct 31st, 2020 — What a day it was! Underwent a HR CT Scan of my chest as Corona had started infecting my lungs. The result of the scan was (phew!) not alarming and I went in with some more information and armed with all sorts of reports. The funny thing about the whole episode was the sudden disappearance of fever. The day I decided to get admitted, 30th of Oct, fever decided not to accompany me to the hospital! Yay!!! That day and today — 7 days later, no fever! This is the best thing to have happened to me since the time I was tested positive. But there was something not well with the lungs and Dr decided to give me the drug that we all have been hearing since COVID-19 first came up — Remdesivir. So I now knew I was on some medication and hopefully I should be getting fine soon.
Lying there on the hospital bed with complete isolation except for the Dr and nurses and hospital staff all decked up in their PPEs, I was compelled to get into the introspection mode. I have always believed that I can be alone any number of times, but I will never feel lonely. I love my company and have so much to think about. My past, present, future and most importantly analysing friend’s and family’s responses in such situation. There are so many people in your lives that you take for granted as “they will be there in crisis” and “oh he is a true friend, he will always be there whenever need arises”…and then the childhood story “Friend in need is a friend in deed” flashes up in memory. I am sure you must have read this “bear and two friends” story. My take on the story wasn’t just that the friend gave up on his friend and climbed a tree to escape the bear and leave his friend to die, it was that at the end of the day it’s all on you. “If it is to be, it’s up to me”. You may have friends, family members, well-wishers, etc. but how you handle yourself, how badly have you abused your body by consuming alcohol, smoking, drugs, junk food, lack of sleep, lack of exercises, etc. makes or breaks your state of affairs. We have all been hearing that ‘Health is Wealth’…well there is no better time to realize the value of this statement but during such critical crisis. I survived because of two reasons (1) Prayers of well-wishers, and (2) My internal strong health. Rachana has been very conscious of our family’s food habits and over the last 30 years, we have built a strong healthy family. The fact that at age 50, we do not have a family physician — well that says a lot, right?
Don’t you guys agree that tough difficult times should come in our lives? It’s these times when the real thing comes forward. I have seen in personal as well as professional lives that what is taken for granted doesn’t deliver and saddens you. What is not expected brings in joy and surprise. How I wish we could take people at face value…how I wish we can read the individual as he/ she is actually. But the best way to accept all this is to understand that everyone has their own unique way of expressing love and care and it would be wrong to judge people by their behaviour…sounds fair…huh? J
Reading, writing, working, calling, walking, doing breathing exercises, passing time on Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hotstar…things to keep myself busy and occupied. I may not be exaggerating when I say time flies. Even in isolation, cut off from the world physically, days are going past pretty fast. Waiting for 11th of November when I will get myself COVID-19 tested again and hopefully it would be negative result this time! Wish me luck guys!!!
Nov 11th, 2020 — The test day! Is it time to be declared Negative from being positive? Well nothing could have prepared me for the outcome that was to be glaring at me. After nearly 21 days of isolation and a week of hospitalization…well, I still tested positive. Of course, the load was dramatically low and docs let me end my isolation and start living a normal life. 8 weeks after I first tested positive, I finally got a negative RTPCR report on Dec 20th.
June 7, 2021 — Now writing about it in June 2021, I have seen the worse. April-May 2021 have been a horror for most of the Indians. Now, I am only glad and grateful to God that the worse is getting over and these 8 weeks of mine made me do a lot of introspection — the main being that be grateful for what you have, live a simple yet higher life, and count your blessings and become contended rather than stay permanently in the rat race. God bless!
