“Alone but not lonely”…the true art of living 😇

Photo by S Migaj on Unsplash

“All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.” — Buddha.

“Me time”, “Need some space”, “Meditating alone”, “Peace in solitude”, “Serene surroundings”, “Self-Love” — haven’t you been hearing these statements frequently nowadays? I do and yes, I am saying these myself too. And no, it’s not because of the recent pandemic stress or overall quality of life, it’s because of dawn of realisation of the endless possibilities that lie in-store for you if you love yourself. Loving yourself doesn’t mean you stay an introvert or asocial or despise company. It just means that you know yourself, understand your needs, and appreciate what you like, want, and need. You do not require a social media account to receive bingos and likes and fake comments — comments you see almost on every other post, to boost your morale or give you confidence.

So how do we live alone and yet not feel lonely. There are some simple tips and prerequisites and checkmarks to fill in before you decide to even think about taking the step. These simple checkmarks could be:

Do you think you know yourself really well? Have you done introspection about what makes you happy, what doesn’t. You go to a gathering or a party — do you really feel happy about it and after it or do you feel its a waste of precious time and bad for health, etc.? Do you like small talks and talks leading to nothing or you feel that for a change such harmless talks and innocent gossip is ok and that it connects two individuals better?

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Do you like to be in company of someone constantly so that you feel a part of the society and want and need someone to be around as a reassurance of your presence and acceptability amongst others? Or do you prefer solitude where its you, your thoughts, and your favourite things that make you happy? Do places like mountains, beaches, forests, dim lights, low music, low seating, a glass of wine, and a book to read or a laptop to write down your thoughts excite you more as compared to the high pitch heavy bass music in the clubs, or partying with friends where there is dancing, and drinking, and smoking, and laughter, and lots of talks with friends?

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Do you have any passion that you can pursue? Let me tell you about my situation. I am surrounded by people who have multiple hobbies and some sure-shot passion. Painting, interior designing, reading, photography, calligraphy, collection of items like first-day covers, stamps, coins, etc. are things I keep hearing all the time. When asked about my passion or even a hobby, I would flinch and think…ummmm….what do I like the most? Well travelling, networking, meeting people, etc. but these cannot be categorized as hobby or passion. So well my answer always used to be — nope none. Nada. Zilch. However, I did realize over the last few months that after all I did indulge myself in writing. I had always liked to express my thoughts and views through writing and my dad had complimented me once saying I had this unique ability to clearly express my views on paper. Well so here I am…writing away to glory 😂. So if you have a passion to pursue then being alone can be your cup of tea, else, believe me my friend, it ain’t easy I tell ya.

What exactly is your mind-frame? Are you alone by choice or has life taken its toll on you and something has happened which has forced you in isolation and being cutoff. If the case of the latter, then I would suggest meeting with a shrink, else go ahead and live your life your way. Do things that matter to you. Indulge in activities that bring a sense of achievement and pride within yourself.

A straight Yes or No to this question can make you decide whether you can ever live alone and yet not feel lonely — Can you go alone to watch a movie in a theatre or dine at a restaurant? Yes or No? 😁. I am sure you know the interpretation of this reply of yours 😇

Living alone gives you an opportunity to connect with yourself, your inner self. Life is so fast and pressure driven that even if you want to walk with life, you have to run. In this high intensity pressure driven goal oriented living, we lose the connect with ourselves. We get dragged into things which we actually would never want to but then we get into it consciously thinking that life demands this so even if I need to compromise or adjust here and there, it should be fine — taking life with a pinch of salt, as they say. Getting your “me time” is not just good, it is a must. Whatever we do in life is finally for keeping ourselves healthy and happy. If we do not introspect and come to a conclusion of what we need and what makes us tick, how are we going to be happy and keep people around us joyous?

I am in love with myself. I have too many things to do which can keep me busy for life. I do not paint nor do I collect anything. I like to take photographs but am not necessarily obsessed by photography. I like to get immersed in my work and devote time to my family. I travel nearly 175 days annually and that takes care of my passion to meet and greet people. What do I do when alone? Music. Writing. Thinking. Listening to talks of spiritual gurus and business leaders. And web series on OTT channels. I have seen and realized that I am never alone. How can you be? You have so many things to think about. You carry the burden of the world on your shoulders 😁

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By talking about this topic, I am in no way implying that I am not a good company 😁. When in parties I am the designated bartender, the photographer, and the DJ sometimes and can be a good company. Some of my most memorable trips have been with my family and my friends. I love going on trips with my staff too where we relax and forget the hierarchy for some time. I am more of a beach lover than a mountain guy. I like the vastness and the endlessness of the sea. Love the sound of waves splashing and the winds blowing over it. It amazes me to realize how quickly these things activates and triggers my brain cells and immediately changes my mood.

So all in all being alone or being with friends and family — the crux lies in the art of not being lonely. That, my dear friends, is the true art of living!

Thanks for reading!

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